It’s funny because I was about to write the BV newsletter about how you relate to your subconscious…Perfect timing on this.
Yes, this is cognitive behavioral therapy, plain and simple. And it works. It’s great.
I also love her no nonsense yet empathetic approach… She also has a ton of real life examples of real results she has helped her clients achieve! And yes, Steve is absolutely right. This is real, information. This is cognitive therapy on steroids because it also employs elements of the Laws of The Universe!
Yes, it sounds too simple to be true, but the truth is always simple. That’s not the same thing as being ‘easy’ to implement, or get results. It takes conscious effort to do these things.
By the way, Meredith, loved the article today!
In The End of Fear Itself, I talk about Peer’s methods, and put a little spin on them that I borrowed from another therapist/coach, Dr. Noah St. John. The only problem with positive affirmations, “I am enough” like Marisa Peer advocates for, is that many of us simply don’t believe them, so they don’t work, or they have limited effect.
Dr. St. John argues that it’s that Gap of Belief that blocks progress with affirmations. He has pioneered a new method that he calls, AffOrmations, to get around that Gap. They are simply affirmations turned into positive questions. Instead of 'I am enough," it’s “Why am I enough?”
This works, because our subconscious mind can’t ignore questions, especially ‘why’ questions. They work like worms to dig into our mind until our minds find an answer for them. We all use Afformations, all the time. The problem is that, most of those questions are NEGATIVE questions, “Why am I always broke?” is one of my favorites. And the mind goes to work to solve that problem. And it never fails to find an answer. If we, instead, turn those into positive questions that assume that what we want already, ‘is’, the mind will work to answer those, too.
There’s more to it than that, of course, which is why I wrote a book including his methods, Peer’s, and several other people’s.
Brilliant! This makes so much sense to me. That is the problem with positive affirmations. It’s funny – after I sent out that newsletter I had 2 unsubscribes, which is 2 more than I usually have. I was trying to understand why or what the readers didn’t like. And then I was like, “WHOA, you gotta use your own methods here.” So I’ve been working on it with focusing on the positive feedback I’ve been getting and the satisfaction I get just from writing it. But damn it’s not easy!
Nooo. None of this stuff is easy. It might be simple, but definitely not easy.
A lot of people have tried affirmations, and failed to get results from them, or at least the results they were promised. It’s just because of the gap of belief. I can tell myself all day long, “I’m a millionaire.” But my brain instantly responds, “Uhhhh No the hell you ain’t! Have you looked at your bank account lately?”
Here’s the link to the book which is now FREE on Amazon, today and tomorrow (12/11 and 12/12)
Great discussion about fear and about making the unfamiliar familiar. Thank you @Meredith for the invitation to the thread. Was recently writing about how stigma for mental health exists not because of lack of awareness but a lack of concrete strategy to help people remove fear in the process of seeking help for recovery of well-being issues.
As an entrepreneur, we sometimes get fear of a financial nature and sometimes it’s from the pressure of competition. Like recently there was a pitching competition that emphasizes on social impact,and I lost out for a prize to a company that teaches people how to use PowerPoint to do icon design. How should I quickly overcome my fear and get over with the rejection?
Glad you joined the conversation!
Rejection is tough, always is. To say otherwise would be ridiculous. I hate it, for sure, lol.
But continued Fear of Rejection is crippling, and of course, counterproductive. It’s really a fear of failure, and loss: loss of prestige, pride, self-esteem, to name a few.
The best way to overcome it is to come to the realization that failing is just part of success; it isn’t the opposite of success. It is essential for it.
You didn’t learn how to walk by sitting and being safe. You learned it by getting up and trying to walk, falling down, then getting back up again, over and over and over, till you mastered it.
Life and business are no different than walking. Falling down hurts, for sure, but it’s only Failure, if you don’t get back up to try something else.
The best long-term strategy to deal with the fear of failure, I think, is to go after the very seed of all our fears: the Fear of Inadequacy. In other words, the Fear that we aren’t good enough to succeed, or that we don’t deserve success, or happiness, or whatever. That’s a bunch of crap, but we all learn this early in life, from our parents, our siblings, our friends, and it’s constantly reinforced during our lifetime by society. Nearly every advertisement ever designed is based on our Fear of Inadequacy. Think about it next time you see an ad, everytime you see them.
The way to beat this, over time, is a simple meditation technique that I put together by combining the best of two masters: Marisa Peer and Dr. Noah St. John.
Here it is:
- Every night before you go to sleep, ask yourself the following questions…
- “Why am I so awesome?”
- “Why am I so successful?”
- “Why is it so easy for me to learn from my experiences?”
If you want to know why this works, and it does, I talk about it in my book, _The End of Fear Itself, or you can read St. John’s book, ‘Afformations’, and watch Marisa’s awesome talk on the topic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw3NyUMLh7Y
Hope that helps! If you want to talk more, we can continue the discussion here, or you can contact me through my website: www.stevebivans.com
Have a great one!
This is really great advice and insight, @Steve_Bivans. Thank you so much for sharing it.
@Tian_Sern_Oon does this sound like a path that you might be able to take to help with with the frustration of rejection?
Also, did you get any feedback from your presentation or from the judges about why it was they went with the powerpoint people?